Many years ago blogging has become a trend for its usefulness to media. And now it's becoming more popular as you can find almost everything online through people's blogs. In 2010 I attempted to start a blog because I wanted to document my life virtually. But I was not savvy enough to manage a website, so I thought it was just a waste of time. I also didn't feel that confident enough with my writing skills. I continued writing in my journal like I always do.
What's so special about writing a journal? For some reason I feel good when I express myself in writing. It started when I was a child when my sister influenced me on writing a diary. But I learned it the negative way by writing sad thoughts. In high school a teacher of mine commended me for writing an essay about "The Spirit of Christmas". It was quite an emotional piece I wrote. She said "You are good in writing. Continue doing it to inspire others." My reaction was priceless as I didn't know that I have that kind of talent. She gave me a proof how positivity can turn things around and motivate someone to do better. I'm not that kind of student that can get noticed for my performance. I'm below average, defocused brat, though I was well behaved most of the time but was also moody, I'm sure I must have caused some headaches to teachers in my bad times.
I did continue writing when I was in college even though I was studying Accountancy at that time. It became my hobby writing poems, essays and I believe I could have wrote songs if I took my piano lessons more seriously. I am right-brained, more of a creative type of person. I like music and arts than logic and math. However, because things I liked doing were irrelevant to my studies I was confused of what to do in my future profession knowing that I was a defocused and moody type of kid. And sad to say, it made me easy to get demotivated. That happens when you don't believe in yourself. I knew somewhere along the path that I was in the wrong way. As we know writing involves a lot of ideas and inspiration but I was totally lost and distracted with other things. If there is one thing I regret in my life, it's that I didn't put much value on my skills and set it aside.
I never forgot about what my teacher said. There were many times I thought about how to get into writing industry. But skills can be forgotten specially when not being used. The jobs that I had in the past never had such artistic tasks. I was working for a business process outsourcing. From BPO I switched to ESL teaching to Koreans and Japanese which gave me the interest in going to different places after learning their culture and history. The kind of life I imagined was pleasure-seeking and is not possible to happen at that time because of lack of time and money. Then I thought of managing my own business in the food industry but I was new to Entrepreneurship and I know it is risky. I thought that if I can manage it well, it could financially sustain the lifestyle that I want. I asked myself "Will it also give the time that I need to spend with other things?" Knowing business, I can confidently say that schedules will be hectic and I was still in the process of preparing myself. Besides, I needed to have more knowledge to make it work. I took culinary arts and bread and pastry production to improve my skills. Although it's time consuming, it's quite satisfying as it redirected my career back to arts and creativity. While I was not ready to make such big investments I went back to working in BPOs. My quest for change did not end. How do I put all my passions in one place? The good news was that I have better understanding of what I wanted.
About two years ago, major challenges in my life happened. I had to make big decisions to resolve the stress and anxiety that I had that nobody knew. It affected my relationships with my family and friends. I quit my job, I separated with my husband, rejected invitations from my friends and disconnected myself from social media. I changed my lifestyle. I needed space to find myself. As part of it, I wanted to write again. But more than that, it seemed to be more like a necessity for me to express my thoughts. Remembering what my teacher said, perhaps it is also my purpose to inspire others. This time I wanted to do it in a positive way. That's how I ended up creating this blog site.